Not Quite Lost

But it feels like it. I've been absent because I've not had the courage nor creativity to post.

Let me preface with this. 4th of July was a blast. Literally. We constructed a massive board with tons of pvc piping, dropped the fireworks down the pipeing and fused it all together. And when I say tons, I mean tons b/c the parental unit purchased $1200 worth of fireworks. Momma visited the neighbors to let them know we were having a major party. I placed a mattress and bedding in the back of the big little brother's pickup. The boys chair carried daddy out to the truck and we drove him down the driveway so he could see. Oh, it was the fireworks show he'd wanted and then some. The neighbors stopped their party just to cheer us on. It was good for the soul.

I knew in my heart of hearts, after seeing daddy upon arrival, that this would be the last time. I knew he'd been waiting for the sibs and me to assemble. He and I didn't speak of it, but I managed to get him all to myself for a bit. I kneeled on the floor beside the bed so I could be at eye level. I said the things I needed to say and asked for forgiveness for the things that weighed me down. Daddy rubbed my cheek as I cried and told me no regrets.

When the kinder vermin and I left, I told him I would be back soon. I couldn't say good bye. Driving away was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I broke. It took me almost twice as long as usual to make it home.

Two days later, Daddy was gone. He passed quietly in the night with my momma holding one hand and whispering in his ear that he was loved and it was ok. My baby brother held his other hand and my uncle sat beside him. I think it would have been harder if I hadn't had the chance to spend one more time with him. I was somewhat able to mentally prepare myself but I spent the majority of my time taking care of him and mom during that visit. I do have one regret though... I'd always planned for him to walk me down the aisle if the was ever another man fortunate enough to find himself attached to me.

We lost a great man. He CHOSE to love us.( I'm not saying our bio-dad doesn't love us, he's just someone I talk to once or twice a year.) Daddy loved my mother with so much passion. I'll never forget one time momma walked by daddy and me... he smiled really big, his eyes lit up and  he said "that's my wife... isn't she beautiful" It wasn't a question, just a declaration. Daddy was my hero... the one man in my life I could fully trust. He was my confidant, my mentor, my partner in crime. He made a mark on this world. It was his nurture, not nature, that helped us kids become who we are... independent, free thinking, wholesome adults... even if we are our own special brand of crazy.

Our family does not normally post photos of each other on any type of social media. But, for the second time in all of my history on social media I will share my daddy...

Heaven has become a lot more interesting and entertaining.

Momma gave me some of his t-shirts. Sounds weird to say it like that, but hold up a second. I am making each one of us sibs, the kinder vermin, momm and my uncle a pillow. I will be calling it the "pappy pillow" for the kinder vermin. I hand stitched my baby brother's while we were still together. I wanted to make sure he had his before he was off and going since he currently resides the farthest away. I'm quite pleased with the outcome. Daddy wore his t-shirts so often that they were all super soft. I decided to buy the pillow itself. I found a great deal on travel pillows that had zippers in them so we could restuff them later if need be. The baby brother wanted a pillow on his and I actually closed it off with Velcro at his request.

Finally, we made a decision about daddy's ashes. Mom didn't know what to do. OF course it's not like she's thinking straight... she did just lose her person. I suggested we purchase a teddy bear. We haven't decided whether to use Build-a-Bear or not, but the plan is to put daddy in a teddy bear so that he's not sitting in a cold, hard urn. Then when momma leaves this world.... many, many moons from now, us sibs will decide where to scatter them. That way momma and daddy will ALWAYS be together.

I know this was a long post. I'm sorry for that. I good to help me process though as like I said, I've felt kind of lost. I keep expecting a phone call that I know I'm never going to receive again. *Sigh*

Feeling Accomplished

Hiya, Peeps!

I totally have some updates for you...

 Two more pages stitched on Spirit of the Wild! It's definitely coming along nicely...

 (There's that Magic 8 Ball... it's the perfect weight for holding things down and answering questions at the same time.)

This now makes 118,674 stitches. Go me.

I was naughty last night. HAD to make a run for thread. I mean, that's what you do when you run out, right? Weeellll... while I was browsing for - cough, cough - just thread, I may or may not have browsed for some fabric for another project. I figured, why not? I'm conveniently shopping in the store. LOL

So, last night I started a new WIP: Lavendar & Lace -  Santa of the Forest. It will look like this - If my stitching is worth a darn:

And... here's what I stitched last night...

Now that I see it uploaded, I think I resembles the little brown poop emoji. Oh my. I guess I better add some stitches to it this evening.

I actually started tackling some of the boxes stored in my attic. Did anyone besides myself suffer from the expenses of the Ty Beanie Baby rush of the late 90s? Please, please, please tell me that I am not the only one. I found one of the large boxes and decided to move the beanies out of the plastic bag and cardboard box into a plastic storage tub. Cricket of course went completely nuts. I'm telling you, it was a battle of wills. She wanted all - I mean all 124 - to keep for herself. Many years ago, I kept them in a wicker basket in my living room and when Cricket would get mad at me, she would throw ALL of the beanies through the house... I'm telling you, that 4 legged child of mine is something else. Anyways, I finally got her to leave them alone long enough to snap a photo, but as you can see she's doing her best to be a good girl.  She was shaking so bad with excitement over the beanies that she was losing hair. My poor old girl. (BTW... she turns 11 next week)

*I still have more than these boxed in the attic


Other than that... 4th of July is coming up for those of us in my part of the world. I'll be hitching up to that wagon train and heading for Elvis Town with the kinder vermin and sibs. Please send us some love, light and prayers or whatever you want for whatever you believe in. The one half of my parental unit that is stage 4 has now been given 2 to 4 months... as of 2 weeks ago. I can't believe I just typed that - it still feels surreal. Anyhoo... we will all be there to party hard and and let our inner pyromaniacs run free with fireworks.

Here's your PSA for the day... Heed the words of your Taco Bell Hot Sauce... Call your Mom.

I hope you are enjoying your day!

Smooches!

Shopping and a Mini Stitch

Happy Monday! I almost feel like a sadist for even saying it since Mondays are typically not my thing unless I have at least 6 cups of coffee. The insomniac night owl in me just doesn't usually like Mondays so I wouldn't normally wish one to be happy for anyone, lol. But... I'll say it again, and without cringing this time, lol... HAPPY MONDAY!

I had quite the bit of fun this past weekend with the Girl.

We did some major shopping. The Girl started her first job in a Vet Clinic this morning. So, we needed to buy shoes and scrubs. It really was her turn for a day with mom b/c the Boy and I completed all of his football shopping the weekend before. But, that really has nothing to do with anything other than I think I know what those reality tv dance moms feel like now... I have expensive kinder vermin. HA!

So, while we were out and about, we just had to stop by Hobby Lobby. I mean, who in their right mind doesn't like Hobby Lobby? If you happen to pass it, you have to park and shop. It's just the way that works.

Anyhoo... I found the most perfect drawer pulls for the antique vanity that I adopted what?, two years ago now. It was about time.

Aren't they the cutest?

I also finished a quick mini stitch for the newbie in my office. When Montana mentioned he loved the fox, I immediately remembered that I had one in my stash. Serendipity!

I hope you all had a most wonderful weekend! Enjoy your week. Drink a cup of coffee. Laugh. Smile. Hug someone.

Peace Out, Peeps!

Pictures!!!

I have been working like crazy on Spirit of the Wild since I have returned home. I have actually finished the two pages that were in progress this past week. (I have no life, lol)

Here's the latest on the top right corner:

The bottom left corner:

AND all 10pgs I have completed thus far:

So far, the total stitches on this project = 99,578. Crazy, right!?
I guess that's all I have for now. I can't even think of anything random and awesome to share.
I hope everyone is doing absolutely amazing today!
Hugs to all!

Home, Sweet Home

I made it back! FINALLY.
The extra $$ just wasn't worth the exhaustion towards the end of my contract. I mean, driving almost 700 miles plus working 60-70 hrs a week is enough to run anyone into the ground.

I've managed to stitch a bit this past weekend, but I forgot to snap a pic. I'll make sure to make that happen shortly. Let's blame it on the exhaustion... mental and physical.

In the mean time, meet one of my chicken nieces... I'm pretty sure this one is Penny. (Joe will correct me if I am wrong, lol)

Joe's chickens were raised by hand and like to be loved on and sit in your lap. Pretty fabulous.

AND...

Here is your PSA for the day:

The North American Hemisphere has entered it's warmer months. Things that crawl, slither and go bump in the night have started moving about. Watch the roads for those kamikaze squirrels and moving deer. ABOVE ALL ELSE... STOP FOR TURTLES!!! They are a vital part of our ecosystem.
Besides, how would you like to be ran over on your way home from work?? Just saying. 

Isn't the little snapper cute?

Enjoy your afternoon, lovelies!!

Gut Punched

Hello, world.

I know it's been a while. I've been on contract for the last month at another school - fixing a train wreck. I very rarely post without photos of my stitching, but I just haven't had the time while working between 60 & 70 hours a week. It's been both exhausting and frustrating to say the least but I will not complain about that.

I am, however, in much need of a mini-vent of the personal kind.

I am at a loss. Last Thursday I saw the Stud Muffin. First time I had seen him in a few weeks due to my contract. He said something to me when he left - "Thank you for my smile." Simple enough, but it nagged at me all weekend... in a serious way... as in I couldn't think of anything else. I checked into my hotel last night and logged on to the net. Yea. My intuition was right - something was seriously off kilter.

Enter the gut punch...

HE GOT MARRIED SATURDAY... just two days after seeing me!!!!!!

My first thought was how did I miss the signs? We all know that there is no such thing as "out of the blue". He had told me he wanted me in his life and nothing worked without me there. And I specifically asked if he was seeing any one else and he said no... and I believed him.

I sent him a message asking if he had lied to me the whole time. I asked why he didn't tell me when we spent time together Thursday. Told him it would have been the honorable and respectful thing to do. (Do honor and respect even exist in the dating world anymore?)

He said he didn't lie the whole time. He made a mistake in which he had to take responsibility. That he could never tell me enough how sorry he was. That this was in no way how he wanted his life to be, but that it is what it is now. That he never expects me to forgive him but that he is sorry with everything he has in him. (Did you catch a hint of poor pitiful me in that? Like he wanted me to feel sorry for him? Jerk.)

~ Insert my thought here... he may not have been seeing someone from the start of us, but it sure does sound to me like he knocked someone up. Wouldn't you agree?

So, I told him that people come into and leave your life for a reason. That he reminded me of a lesson I had previously learned but had forgotten. I thanked him for that. I told him I couldn't believe he was sincere and that everything made sense now... I finally see him for who he really is. Then I gave him a giant F U. (Un-lady like I know, but I thought the situation would give me a pass... please say you are in agreement.)

He responded by saying his apology was completely sincere. Life was better with me in it. He was sorry.

I told him I obviously didn't make his life better enough to have an impact to be genuine and honest. I deserved the truth and he didn't give it. He turned me into little more than a disposable side piece. I told him that he was right, his life was better with me in it because I genuinely cared about him. (Obviously, I am better off without him.) That I didn't do anything to deserve this. He gut punched me and knocked me to the floor.

His response - silence. No shocker there.

~ I thought I handled myself pretty well all things considered. AND... I actually voiced myself to him which was a relief... I never could voice myself to my ex-husband.  Unfortunately, my first instinct was to question what I had done wrong and how I fell short. Even now I am struggling but I know it'll pass. My second instinct was to cut off his manhood, stuff it, and mount it on the wall like a trophy. AND.. My third instinct was to call his new wife and make sure she knew what kind of man she just married. I won't do either of the last two though because that would mean I had stooped to a low I don't need to go to. Instead, I'll drink my glass of wine to ease the tension and do some work.

On a final note... The world needs to practice the Golden Rule a little bit more. Really, a lot more. People need to be lifted up instead of broken down. Remember this, all of you lovely people - and for some, I know it's a challenge...  myself included - DO NOT allow yourself to determine your own worth based upon the actions of another.

Thanks for listening peeps. It's much appreciated.
I hope your Monday has been better than mine.

XO

Who's Yo Mama?!

Yup... it's me. Kicking butt and taking names.

I hope everyone had a most lovely Easter weekend. I made the trek to Elvistown. Cooked Easter dinner for 15 people... it was definitely yum. Did a little shopping. Went to church.

On a side note - We are THAT family... twisted and warped... our own personal brand of crazy. You're not loved unless you are picked on. Those not present are even fair game. We discuss everything from family and food to religion and politics. Sometimes staying up until all hours of the night. I would imagine that anyone looking through the windows at us may think we need group therapy. Truth be known, we are our therapy. I love my family and wouldn't know what to do without them.

I've accomplished quite a bit on my big project:

It's been irritating at times, but I love the progress made. I had to start on two different pages in order to keep from going blind when stitching just one color.

Last night I made a strawberry rhubarb pie. The first one I've made in a few years. And oh my goodness was it tasty! Practically a foodgasm - it was that good.

I really didn't want to share, but I did. When I get to Heaven and I'm asked why I deserve to pass through the Pearly Gates I can say I shared my pie. (I guess that sounds really horrible.)


Other than that... I say welcome to spring! The true south has a fifth season - Pollen. Thankful for the rain today. EVERYTHING had turned green from so much pollen. You have to clean your windshield just to drive. So horrible.

Hate the pollen. Love the blooms.

Well.... I guess that's all for now.
I wish you a most fabulous day, wherever you may be.

XOXO

A Few More

Stitches that is. Slow and steady wins the race right?

I made the trip to Elvis Town to see my parental unit. Never a vacation. PATME (Parental Adult Teller-Machine Extractor - the half that gives us grown children $$) is still fighting the battle against stage 4. PATME's numbers are so low lately that they don't leave the house. My Granny Ho is also battling cancer... she's a walking miracle as she has already outlived her time frame for what she has. I mention this because when I go, being the most awesome daughter/granddaughter that I am, my trips are always working trips. I did some things for both my parents and grandparents that they can't do for various reasons. AND... I made PATME's favorite pound cake with the recipe their grandmother used when they were a small child. It's amazing to say the least. Thankfully, I am inheriting that particular cook book.

I fixed Precious again. Wire issues this time. LOL.

All I can say is thank goodness for iphones with cameras and flashlights. Oh. And, youtube videos. LOL. I'm telling you... you need to stick with me come the zombie apocalypse! This girl has skills.

Ok... enough about nothing. It's a lovely day in my neck of the woods... I hope it is wherever you may be as well. Go get some fresh air!

XOXO, Peeps!

Page 6

Here you go Ladies and Gents... the up to date photo of my H&E design...

So far it is 59,808 stitches. I've broken 1 needle - massive amazon man hands - and I'm on my 3rd highlighter. This will be the biggest project I have stitched yet. Move over Van Gogh... Spirit of the Wild is the new kid in town. Did you hear The Good, the Bad and the Ugly playing just now? Or was it just me? (Ear worms, man.)

Speaking of music... If you haven't heard the Simon and Garfunkel Sounds of Silence cover by Disturbed... YOU NEED TO!!! Just GOOGLE it. You're welcome.

Ok, kids. Love you. Bye.

Time to play Catch Up

The Queen of Random Posts has returned. Maybe for just the day or maybe for a while. Who knows.

Finishing Van Gogh gave me a moment of "What now?" My inspiration went down the drain for a bit. I did start reading Wuthering Heights. I have to say, it's been one of the most excruciating books I have ever read. I mean physically painful. The story line is decent, but it's definitely not one of those suck you in and read until 3am situations. I will finish it. Even if I just read a paragraph a day.

I started stitching on my new big project last October. I have almost 6 pages of the 54 complete.
It's a Heaven and Earth Design, Spirit of the Wild, by Laura Prindle.
Here's what I had finished a few weeks ago. I'll take a new photo this evening... if I remember.

 Here's what it will look like when finished...

The kinder vermin are already fighting over whom gets to inherit this one. I think the Girl won b/c the Boy had already put his hooks into Van Gogh.

I randomly decided to get fresh ink last night. In randomly decided I mean just the act of heading out last night. Not in random choosing of symbol, place and size. And it's strategically placed so that it'll be hidden from the general population.

Just a subtle reminder to myself that my story is still being told. My struggles are my struggles and I just have to remember to "be still".

Welllll... that's probably enough for the moment. I don't want to overwhelm anyone.

A most fabulous day to you!!!
Smooches!