Saturday, June 8, 2013

Is there such a thing...

As caring to much?

I'm extremely conflicted.
I'm unsure as to how I need to proceed.
My credibility is in question.

While I have the utmost respect for the individual who has mentioned this, I feel that in turn it makes me look bad. I feel as though in said individual bringing this to my attention that my character and ethical compass are in question as well. I mentioned that this comment made me look bad and it was argued that it did not. Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill?

My inner beast is kept on lock down. She's chained with in a cage with only enough leway to pace. And she paces. She paces everyday. She's only been freed a handful of times in my life and it's scary and exhausting..
She was momentarily allowed to be free a few days ago. I had to go into over drive to keep her reigned in. The best thing I did was walk out.

I have seen the faces of  happiness, excitement and accomplishment.
The faces of pain, sadness and anger.
The faces of war and hidden scars.
I see them everyday.
I help. I lend an ear. I push them to drive forward. I chide them when need be.
I encourage and I diffuse. And yes, occassionally I bend over backwards.

They bring me laughter, new perspective and yes, sometimes irritation.
I find great satisfaction in knowing these faces.

How do I make one understand that just an extra 20 min can make all the difference in the day of one of these faces? Regardless of laughter or a high tension situation?

Why is it that my credibility is in question when these faces come to me time and time again for assistance or just to say hi. I would think it would be quite the opposite.

They come to me because they know I will take the time. Push them in the right direction. Keep them on tract.

Isn't this what they deserve? Not to be a number, but a face and name?

Am I wrong? Do I care entirely too much?