I mentioned before that teaching my students this semester has helped open my own eyes. I spent an entire class period being overly honest, divulging secrets, and overwhelming minds with self-deprecation. It was a path I chose as to not pick on any particular individual in class. It was meant to gain attention and show that each individual would not be judged for his/her path to happiness and that open and honest comments were welcome but would not be pried from them.
I explained that in order for someone to truly understand their own happiness and joy, they needed to understand the highs and lows, the spirals, the whiplash and yet amazing aspects of their lives.
In using myself as an example, I explained where I came from, the fact that I've been used, abused, chewed up, spit out and abandoned. The ever persistent rain cloud above my head telling me that I'm not good enough, I'll never know what being truly loved is, I'll always be broken ... held together by invisible duct tape and zippy ties, and nothing in life will ever go perfectly right for me. I also explained the depression, self-sabotage, emotional eating and suicidal thoughts that plagued me for years. Then I brought out the good... GOD, my family, my babies, small miracles, simple things and stitching.
One of my students said she almost didn't come to class because she was not feeling well, but that she was glad she did... it was the best class she had ever been to. It seemed that in that hour and 20 minutes, I had reached many... and in a way I had reached my own self. That's not to say that the clarity I have been working towards never back tracks. I spiral backwards quite often... silence on the blog front. BUT... I withdraw, I regroup, and I start again.
In the first part of my Happiness Project I created a list. This list is comprised of reminders to me:
"Be still and know that I am God"... first and foremost
This too shall pass
Enjoy the fun of failure
Employ emotional contagion
Exercise for sanity, not vanity
Recognize my ghosts and dismiss them
Let it go
This too shall pass
Keep it simple
Give free hugs
I am enough
Speak my mind
Make time to just be me
Inspire and be inspired
On that note... I am proud to say that I have FINISHED Stitching my Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble:
Also, I was awake at 0540 this past Sunday thanks to the time change. I had my laundry washed an put away by 0715, and had already drank half a pot of coffee. It was nuts. The remainder of my day I spent watching movies and finishing a couple of Christmas ornaments.
My favorite so far:
These two are ones the Boy and Girl picked out:
It's November! Be thankful for what you have, send light and prayers to those who may need it, and give someone a hug!