Is there such a thing...

As caring to much?

I'm extremely conflicted.
I'm unsure as to how I need to proceed.
My credibility is in question.

While I have the utmost respect for the individual who has mentioned this, I feel that in turn it makes me look bad. I feel as though in said individual bringing this to my attention that my character and ethical compass are in question as well. I mentioned that this comment made me look bad and it was argued that it did not. Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill?

My inner beast is kept on lock down. She's chained with in a cage with only enough leway to pace. And she paces. She paces everyday. She's only been freed a handful of times in my life and it's scary and exhausting..
She was momentarily allowed to be free a few days ago. I had to go into over drive to keep her reigned in. The best thing I did was walk out.

I have seen the faces of  happiness, excitement and accomplishment.
The faces of pain, sadness and anger.
The faces of war and hidden scars.
I see them everyday.
I help. I lend an ear. I push them to drive forward. I chide them when need be.
I encourage and I diffuse. And yes, occassionally I bend over backwards.

They bring me laughter, new perspective and yes, sometimes irritation.
I find great satisfaction in knowing these faces.

How do I make one understand that just an extra 20 min can make all the difference in the day of one of these faces? Regardless of laughter or a high tension situation?

Why is it that my credibility is in question when these faces come to me time and time again for assistance or just to say hi. I would think it would be quite the opposite.

They come to me because they know I will take the time. Push them in the right direction. Keep them on tract.

Isn't this what they deserve? Not to be a number, but a face and name?

Am I wrong? Do I care entirely too much?

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary

The garden is growing. Slowly but surely. Still have some pumpkins and zucchini to get planted.
The corn babies are almost 4 inches tall now!

One of the tomato plants has a couple of small tomatoes trying to make it...

 

And... my New Mexico green chili has a few bud I'm hoping make it...

 

 

Now if I can just keep the dogs from chewing on the squash, cantaloupe and cucumbers we will be good to go. Not sure what the attraction is. I wouldn't think they would be very tasty.

 

 

In other things... still working on that Christmas Calendar of mine. It's getting there. I haven't even wanted to touch Starry Night... it actually gives me nightmares!

 

Thinking I may make some pumpkin bread today... no other mischief to get in to. 

 

 

 





Completely & Utterly...

UNINSPIRED.

Bored. No mischief. Need something to do, but don't feel like doing anything. Tired and restless all wrapped in one.

What to do... what to do...

Ok.... random people who just drop by... give me some ideas!

Don't be scared to drop a line... I don't bite... at least not too hard...

Can it be that simple?

I, like most women, have an issue with concept of self. We can be our own worst enemies at times. Childhood follows us. Mass media is constantly bombarding us. We're scrutinized by individuals. We're not pretty enough. We have too many imperfections.
Do I believe I am beautiful? Absolutely not. I will never believe it. However, I recently came across the commercial Dove put out.
You can see it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk&noredirect=1

It made sense. We don't see ourselves as others see us.
It made me think...

In fact it reminded me of something someone once said to me. Not long ago I was seeing someone who was 22. I asked him why he didn't want to date a little gal his own age. He said it was because he didn't want to date a little girl. He wanted to date a mature, confident woman. Ok. Makes sense. So, I asked another question. Why would he date someone so much older that had slight smile and laugh lines and no longer carried her teenage hard body. His response.... "you've had children and that's perfectly fine by me. Plus... you don't see what I see."

Can it be so simple? "You don't see what I see." I won't believe someone if they tell me I am gorgeous or beautiful. But, I could believe him because he worded it differently? I've taken that comment and written it on my mirror as a reminder. No one sees you as you see yourself.

Anyways....

I finished a quick stitch a couple weekends ago. I've been such a slacker about posting it. This is Let It Snow by Barbara Ana Designs. Now I just need to decide how I'm going to finish it.

I've also been wrking diligently on my Christmas Calendar.... It's coming right along. I've surpassed what is shown. Fingers crossed I get another picture taken of it soon.

Just remember... YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

Proposition... I think NOT

Went to a conference this past week. The road trip was jacked up to say the least. I don't think the muguls saw my vehicle skinny up when a semi almost put me in a concrete wall during a span of road construction. Whew. Got turned around trying to find my hotel in slum town. Issues with check in. Asked for money 2 times in the grocery store parking lot. Didn't have enough gas when leaving the hotel to make it up the interstate a couple exits, when I left, so took my chances in the rough neighborhood. Was called li'l baby and li'l mamma by the guys working in the gas station. BUT... the best part happened while pumping my gas. I was just texting a friend to say I was getting the heck out of there before I was ganked when a guy aproached me, looking like he hadn't showered in 2 weeks, who know's maybe it was 3. Anyways, he propositioned me and wanted me to go to his crib. My response... sensored for you of course... "Do I look like a beepity beep crack whore to you?! You have 2 seconds to crawl back to the rock you came out from under before you lose your beepity beep!" His response was something like "Oh, my bad shawty." At least my internal kung fu panda was enough to make him back off. Geez-o-peet. I'll refuse to go if the conference is in the same place again next year. Isn't is fabulous?

Moving on... I did work on my Starry Night a little bit, but not enough that you could tell a difference. I also worked on my Christmas Calendar. Completed a little bit of back stitching and some more red border. Every little stitch counts!

Pie?

Decision made. Continuing the opus battle this weekend. I can almost guarantee that I will be 104, place the last stitch, and pass away quietly in my sleep. I have been stitching since I was 9 and in the 4th grade. I will have learned nothing if my skills and patience falter before completing Van Gogh's Starry Night. Wish me the best of luck in this endeavor and be prepared for the colorful language to fly. I'll post pictures of my progress.
In the midst of the weekend challenge, I need to ponder. This will not be a light ponder for life has pelted me with lemons recently. My challenge.... turn those blasted lemons into blueberry pie.

Short End of the Thread

I've said it before but will say it again... I'm probably the most scatter brained OCD person you will ever come across. Definitely a walking contradiction. I tossed a few more stitches into Starry Night. (Look up... it is pitiful.) I think I will be the only person to tell a difference has been made. Of course, unless a person was party to my previous blog no one would be able to even know what kind of difference was made. Sometimes, it's just a grueling process and you reach the end of your thread before you know it. Frogging and ripping = put it down until another day.

On the flip side, just because you toss a project aside doesn't mean you can't pick up another UFO. That being said, today is Christmas Day. I've been working on this calendar for 4 years now. Every year I have said, "This is the year I will complete this project." Then another year passes by. Such is my life. Just think... Starry Night is waaaaaaay bigger. Hence the opus.

Just as an update.. still no enlightenment. We'll blame it on Van Gogh seeing as he's not here to defend himself.